Brian Krebs Repellent

Are you a Discord user between the ages of 12 and 17? If so, we have bad news for you: a 50-year-old dude in a grey suit named Brian Krebs is probably cyberstalking you in anticipation of a very public doxing. Protect yourself today with our laboratory tested Brian Krebs Repellent.
 
With an extremely large following and active blog rife with monetisation and sponsorship, the wild Krebs constantly needs to fuel his uncontrollable urge to expose the identities of teenage script kiddies, thus enabling him to further profit from corporate talks about his latest doxing.
 
Due process and boring legal concepts such as "innocent until proven guilty" and "anonymity of minors" are meaningless to Krebsy, as not only does he want the glory of providing speculative details to law enforcement, he also needs to feast on the attention brought about by spreading that same information around in the public domain via dull newsletters and lengthy blog posts.
 
The Krebs is a ferocious and persistent species and standard repellents/tranquillisers can often have the opposite effect, making him even more thirsty for the private information of kids on the internet.
 
Luckily, through years of science and testing, our unique formula has been proven to deter Krebs for up to 24 hours, causing him to lose the ability to log your chats, stalk your childhood Instagram, or ask your family/friends incriminating questions about you through one of his many fake profiles.
 
Take action now against the horrors of being Krebsed.
 
Unlike those hacked verified accounts on twitter, we're actually giving back to the community! This item is currently only $1!